My Testimony:
I was born in the year 2006 to regenerate parents, who, as yet had not been introduced to the doctrines of grace. My father was the pastor in a small Church in Utah, when he started to be troubled with the inconsistencies between some of his fundamental Baptist doctrine, and the scriptures.
He stepped down from his position as pastor, feeling that the contradictions he was seeing must be resolved before he could responsibly lead God's people. It was about this time that my uncle, who had but lately come to understand the doctrines of grace, and was at the time attending Bethlehem Baptist Seminary in Minneapolis, MN, introduced my parents to the sermons of John Piper, and like minded men. I a very few months, the majority of my father's questions where answered by the clear exposition of our brother John Piper, as he delved into the scriptures. This occurred when I was six years old.
Even before they had come to understand the doctrines of grace, my parents had taken much care to raise me in the fear and admonition of the LORD, and then from age six, I was taught the glorious truths that have been torn out of the mindsets of so many evangelical churches not holding to the doctrines of grace.
I cared nothing for any of this though. I was a chronic thief and liar, from a young age, on into my teens. A cheat and hypocrite who could not be trusted by anyone who knew him. I was an exceedingly miserable child, though my parents and siblings where in no way tended to cause unhappiness. I was unfulfilled, constantly seeking fulfillment in my sin, and constantly growing emptier. At the age of 12 I considered suicide, but the LORD spared me from myself at the thought of my mother's sorrow, should I take my own life.
This groping in the dark, for fulfillment, while plunging deeper into the suffocating bog of sin, continued until I was fourteen. At this time, in an act of direct disobedience to my parents, I came close to setting the neighborhood ablaze.
My Father was at his wits end at this point, and determined to have me sit on a deck outside our house at the time, in a chair, except for meals and bedtimes, for one month. That way I could not harm myself or anyone else.
In God's providence, he started, during these long hours, to work upon my heart by His Spirit. The scriptures, and teaching from the scriptures, that I had heard since my mind could recall, started to run through my head. By degrees I began to see my sin, not just as something "bad to do" but as an offense against the righteous, loving, awful Ruler of all. I also had some small glimpses of Christ's beauty, admittedly, these where weak and faint, but faith is something that progresses, not something that is static. Sometime during that month, I passed from death to life. My life commenced to change. Many times I had tried to change it myself, and had failed almost before I set out to do so. Now, by the power of Christ, sin after sin we weeded out. It has been four years now. And Christ grows more desirable to me each day. He ha paid the price for my sin, and by His power, I am being justified by faith which is completed by the works that He empowers me to do (James 2). He will keep me to the end! For He has promised: "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day." John 6:37-39
My Discord username: ben_leevey